Kairos Prison Ministry

by Sheila Cooley

May 18, 2025

(Acts 16:16-34; Psalm 68:1-10, 19-20, 32-35; Romans 12:9-2; Mathew 25:31-46)

Good morning, everyone.  My name is Sheila Cooley and I’d like to thank Rev. Amy for welcoming me to come and share with you this morning about the work of Kairos Prison Ministry.  My hope today is to share some information about the ministry and then offer you some ways that you can support our efforts. We are an international ministry serving in over 500 prisons and communities in 37 states here in America and 13 countries worldwide.

Kairos is one ministry with three programs – Kairos Inside, which seeks to create Christian community inside adult male and female correctional institutions; Kairos Outside, which seeks to support women 20 years or older whose lives are impacted by the incarceration of another; and Kairos Torch, which serves the population of juvenile offenders aged 18-24.

The best way I know to share Kairos with you is to share my own journey. About a decade ago, our pastor encouraged us as a congregation to seek ways that we might live out Jesus’ commands in Matthew 25:31-46, that very familiar passage we read this morning. We identified the areas of need: the hungry and thirsty, the naked, the sick, and the imprisoned, and we were asked to pray about the area we were drawn to.  As I was asking God how I might get involved, He brought to my mind a conversation I’d once heard on Christian radio with a woman who had befriended an inmate, and how this inmate had a far more profound impact on her than she did on him. So, I raised my hand to say that I wanted to consider ways we could support those in prison.  In my mind, I was going to begin correspondence with an inmate and encourage others to do the same.  That seemed safe enough.  But God does not always ask us to do the “safe” thing, does He?  As I was seeking to undertake a pen pal program with inmates in CT, I crossed paths with a gentleman in our church named Brian who was active in prison ministry.  When I introduced myself to him, he looked me in the eye, pointed at me and said, “You need to get involved in Kairos!”  He took my contact information and passed it along the same day to the powers that be, and the next thing you know, I was signed up to serve on my very first Kairos Inside retreat Weekend at York Correctional Institute (CI).

I will not pretend to tell you that I knew what I had committed to.  I did know that a team of approximately 30 women (myself included) were going to conduct a 3 ½ day retreat for up to 42 women at York CI.  Before our retreat I had to participate in 36 hours of training and team building – this in addition to the clearances that I needed to be secure from the Department of Corrections and their requisite orientation with its intimidating list of does and don’ts. Those many hours of training with my Kairos team proved invaluable because it helped me to understand the structure and purpose of our Weekend.  While all Kairos volunteers are Christians, representing many denominations, any inmate is welcome to participate in a Kairos Weekend. The prison chaplains are encouraged to identify both positive and negative leaders within their facility and extend an invitation, because these are the men and women who can influence the environment inside. I learned that a carefully constructed series of talks would be shared by members of our team, talks in which they would share pieces of their own very real and vulnerable stories. These talks would be interspersed with discussions, music, activities, and meditations designed to help our guests grow in awareness of themselves, of Christ, and of others.

As my first Weekend retreat unfolded, I learned the great impact that would be made through all the tangible evidence of God’s love and forgiveness we share with the inmates. For example, before each retreat we ask children to decorate placemats, then at each meal we lay a pile of placemats in the center of the table. The participants are asked to select one. You’d be astounded how God uses these simple materials. I can assure you the inmates don’t allow food to touch them.  They take these treasured works of art back to their cells as a reminder that they are not forgotten. And there are those beautiful occasions where a woman will select a placemat, perhaps because she loved the sunflower drawn on it, only to discover that it’s been signed by a little girl named Anna, and that just happens to be the same name as her own daughter. Then there’s the many colorful sheets of paper hung on the walls, which detail a list of names and hometowns of others who have committed to praying for the inmates throughout the Weekend. It’s one more indication that they are not as alone and forgotten as they imagine themselves to be. And then there’s the moment when each participant receives a handwritten note from each team member.  That may not sound like a big deal to you, but consider the man or woman who’s been incarcerated for a decade, forgotten and rejected by their own family, who’s never received a piece of mail, and before the Weekend is over they’ve received 30 personal notes! I cannot begin to tell you the impact this simple kindness has. Many men and women experience love for the first time at this juncture on a Weekend.

All of this reminds me of Romans 2:4 where Paul says, “Do you show contempt for the riches of his [God’s] kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” And it reminds me also of his exhortation in Romans 12 to not be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good. I could reference any number of Scriptures that admonish us to respond in this fashion. I admit there was a time in my life when I would not have thought that certain individuals were deserving of such kindness, but time after time, I have witnessed firsthand, and heard from other Kairos volunteers in other facilities, how such tenderness and care broke the most hardened criminal and transformed their life from that day forward.

I recall one participant, in response to her Weekend, expressed that beforehand she was full of self-loathing on account of her many failures and crimes that landed her at York CI, but she came to realize that if all of us might see some value in her, well, it just might be true.  Today she is one of the most confident and joyful women I know, despite the fact that she still has long years to complete her sentence.  She has become a mentor to others.

In the words of another participant: “ In all honesty, I felt like I didn’t deserve any love or forgiveness.  I really hated what I’ve done and who I had become . . .  [On my Weekend] I learned about God, felt His love and forgiveness.  There was crying, sharing, and opening of doors in my heart.  Now I have a Kairos famiy . . .  I knew this program transformed me.  I have been given a blessing from God when He pulled me away from my past destruction.  Being a servant of God is my new occupation.  Although I still have bad days, feel discouraged, and get tired, I have never lost that beautiful feeling in my heart that I am loved by God.  Now I know that I am never alone. I am loved, forgiven, and truly worthy of God’s love.”

After my very first Weekend, I was all in!  I attended every monthly reunion that we hosted for Kairos graduates, and prayed along with others that the facility would allow us to conduct weekly Prayer and Share groups, as they permitted in one of the men’s facilities.  You see, continuing ministry is the heart of Kairos. The fact that we return again and again is what sets us apart from other prison ministries.  I had the wonderful privilege of serving on two additional Weekends at York CI and joined the advisory council to support the effort.

Unfortunately, the Department of Corrections closed its doors to Kairos Inside at the start of the pandemic. And sadly, the doors remain closed today for different reasons. Our Kairos Inside volunteers remain committed to our brothers and sisters inside and gather monthly to pray for them, for the staff and administration of the DOC, and mostly for our return inside.

And yet God has blessed us in other ways.  While the world was still feeling the effects of the pandemic, I received an email from a Kairos Outside team up in NH.  They were going to be hosting their first event in seven years and were struggling to secure enough volunteers.  I’d heard about Kairos Outside, and the work they did to support women who might have an incarcerated spouse, son or daughter, brother or sister, etc., but had always been drawn to the work inside prison, so I ignored the initial emails.  But God can be persistent with me.  The emails from NH turned into phone calls, and it was hard to resist God’s voice speaking through them.  And yet I bargained with God (do any of you do that?) and told Him I’d be willing to go and serve but that I was not going to make any connection up there.  Apparently, He had other plans.  (What’s that my husband is always telling me?  If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.)

God showed me yet again, that if I was willing to say yes to His promptings, He would do immeasurably more than I could imagine.  I cannot tell you how deeply that Weekend touched me.  You see, the Kairos Men’s Inside team in NH had just hosted their first Weekend since the start of the pandemic at the NH State Prison for Men in Concord.  It turns out that there were about a half dozen young men who attended that Inside Weekend and, as a result, invited their moms to come to our Kairos Outside event, offered at no cost to them.  Like most Kairos Outside guests, these women were hesitant to attend and came with the intention of fleeing the moment they felt too uncomfortable.  But soon they found themselves in a safe environment, surrounded by other women – moms and grandmothers and siblings of the incarcerated – who knew just what they were experiencing.  Many of our team volunteers attended their first Weekend as guests themselves and have gone on to faithfully serve on team and give back to others who are in the same situation. Our guests quickly bond with one another and offer each other mutual support and encouragement.  I recall one guest thanking us all for giving her a safe place to talk about her son. She said that many of her friends didn’t even know she had a son. You see, many of our guests have been conditioned over time to keep any news of incarceration to themselves on account of the response of others.

I spoke earlier about all the tangible signs of God’s love that we shower on the incarcerated Weekend participants, and we seek to do the same with Kairos Outside.  We consider all the life events and holidays (think Christmases and birthdays) that they miss because their loved ones are not with them. So, we host a birthday party, where each one gets a cupcake and a card signed by the whole team. There are several other beautiful surprises and blessings I’d love to share with you, but will refrain from doing so, on the chance that someone in this room might be eligible to come and attend as our honored guest. 

Here is one woman’s response when asked what she experienced on her Weekend:

“I went in so broken, lost, guarded, and even lonely. Half my family stopped talking to me because of their lack of understanding. The people I called my friends abandoned me. I was judged by so many because of my decision to stay with my husband. People who knew him understood my reason to stay and fight for my marriage . . . while he was on the inside. That first night when I walked into the room, I was in awe. The open arms, the hearts, and the love that our Kairos team showed in such a short time were overwhelming in a good way. I knew I was in the right place. Still guarded, I remember staying to myself. The next morning was when I felt a release, I could let my guard down and embrace what the Lord wanted to do in my life that weekend. I remember looking around at all the brokenness. God showed himself through the leaders, through the small groups . . . and through the ones who served. God was clear that weekend and told us we are not alone that He is with us. He is a forgiving God, and we didn't have to carry the burden any longer. I felt free to talk, to open up. I felt safe. We have such a Good, Good Father and he will never leave us. The weekend brought strangers together and made us family.” And I am reminded of Psalm 68:6 that God sets the lonely in families.

My first Kairos Outside Weekend impressed me so much that I took heed when the staff at Kairos headquarters encouraged me to return to CT and revitalize that branch of the ministry here. Once again, I found God calling me well outside of my comfort zone.  How could we possibly pull this off? So much would be required. I knew little about how to secure a venue that could accommodate upwards of 50 people, and I did not know how to raise the funds to pay for such a venue, or how to go about securing the volunteers to support it, or how to reach the guests that would most benefit from attending.

And, yet, because of God’s abundant provision and favor we were able to hold a Kairos Outside Weekend last September and are looking forward to holding another September 26-28 at our Lady of Calvary Retreat Center in Farmington!  We are still in the process of building our team of volunteers to serve for the entire Weekend, or to come and work behind the scenes for a few hours, or to provide transportation to our guests who might otherwise be unable to attend, or to get the word out to potential guests, or to provide financial or prayer support.  Consider this your invitation to help us do any of those things. Please see me after service if you’d like to engage in further conversation.

I recognize that God calls us each to the ministry He’s chosen for us (the good works He’s prepared in advance for us). For me it is Kairos.  I am not here to convince you that Kairos is for you, but I want to encourage you to consider where He might be calling YOU.  And I will leave you with the words of a wise pastor that encouraged me on my Kairos journey because surely, they can also encourage you on your own journey to serve. He said, “If you seek to undertake this task you WILL find yourself well out of your depths . . . but you will also find God proving Himself in ways that you never imagined.”  And prove Himself to me, God has! May He do the same in your own life.